PART 1:(also edited from an email I sent to my half-sister)
Wow. Kim and I talked at Chili’s downtown for about three hours, I ate maybe three bites we were talking so much and I was so stunned that it was actually happening. Things with Joy had been worse than I knew. It was terrible. Though I can hardly believe (partly out of shock and partly because I’m still wary) that those horrible times are over yet, I am happy that things between Kim and I are so much better. When she broke up with me, she said that she wanted to stay very close friends. And then Joy’s emotional control ran amuck. Now that it appears that Joy is being erased, I can actually start believing those words. I have sincerely missed Kim’s friendship even though I gave up that it could ever happen,; I’m in fearful but hopeful shock that I might actually have one of my best friends back.
I’m still hopeful and stunned. We both really enjoyed finally spending time together as friends and working on shedding the shadow of the past five months. I’m looking forward to getting together again as well as being 100% clean of Joy – meaning then I can actually, completely accept that the Kim I knew has returned from the pits of hell.
EDIT aka PART 2:
I just went through all the boxes and bags of my stuff from when I was moved out of the apartment. Man I have a lot of stuff! Thank you, Kim, for having packed it!
But of course, going through all my things brought back a lot of memories. And a lot of hurt and sorrow. I had a great love, a wonderful home, a kitty, all that. True, many habits did need to be broken and a breakup was probably the best way to end those. I know that I have ended most of the ones Kim listed – I speak up, I have a job, I’m taking care of myself, I have come to respect that others’ paths (even a girlfriend’s) probably won’t always align with mine and I should just support them in their own endeavors. At least now I can get back to working on the genuine pain that comes with a hard breakup without the additional, more hostile sting that Joy has conjured. It just hurts to be reminded of all that I had and lost. I am still extremely proud of how I have handled everything, but I’m not completely finished recovering.
I’m so glad that I’m sleeping with Fluffy tonight. With all these bittersweet flashbacks, I don’t think I’d be able to sleep alone.