Quote of the Day: “There is not a sprig of grass that shoots uninteresting to me.” – Thomas Jefferson
This sums up how I feel about the beginning of the semester: http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g214/kleokriesel/Brandiejunk/Halloween3.jpg
This is the best start-of-a-semester I’ve had! Best friends ever, super-amazing girlfriend, wonderful classes, great job, my own room. Very few things could make this better (it should be free, Lauren and Ashley and other friends and my family should be within a 5 mile radius)
Fridays 9-1, I’m taking Psychology of the Family. I LOVE IT OMG! We basically have a loosely guided discussion about marriage, raising kids, gender/race/class/etc. roles, family, etc. Expect weekly, in-depth blogs about issues, then!
I have a few friends in this class and one of them with a very similar parental situation to mine sat at the same table as me (Alverno doesn’t have individual desks, only tables). We had a lot of discussion about marriage since we all have the same doubts and beliefs. It made me rethink a lot.
No, none of this is moot point. Though I might not legally be able to marry in the Midwest (YEAY IOWA) whenever/if this happens, I still think of a celebratory ceremony and that lifestyle as an option.
For a while, as you can probably imagine, I’ve been thinking over I’d ever want to get married, what it would mean, how I would approach it, etc. No way would I even consider doing it anytime soon, but it comes up a lot so I think about it. Both of my parents have been divorced twice, one of my aunts is divorced, another aunt broke off an engagement, another aunt never engaged/married, one of my half-sisters is divorced, two of my cousins are divorced, and then there is the population in general. Where I am now, I really doubt that I will ever have a relationship that lasts until death (unless I start one in a nursing home or someone dies suddenly, but you know what I mean). That viewpoint will probably change, but it’s where I am now.
I have never been proposed to and I’ve never proposed. John and I mentioned it once shortly before breaking up and Kim and I talked about talking about it, both times as very distant probabilities (HA!). I used to be rather emo about never having been proposed to, as though I was missing out on something or wasn’t worthy. That changed when the Anal Warts got engaged; Kim has been proposed to four times and has said yes twice only to end them later. When Joy proposed to her and she said yes and then I found out about the cheating, I instantly became relieved that I’ve never had to deal with a proposal. I am definitely not ready for any of that, though I used to think I was ready to get engaged. No way.
Now, I just don’t know. Though I know that this view is greatly influenced by everything that has happened around and to me, I can’t deny that there must be some truth in it even just for the time being: I honestly believe that every relationship I have will end. That’s sad, but it means I can enjoy being by myself more and appreciate the moment of now more. Quality over length.
If I do get proposed to, I would probably say, “Give me a week to think about it. Not no, but not yes.” Of course, that’s imagining a far-off situation from where I am now. I’m uncomfortable with that likely reaction, though. I hate being put on wait even for more minute things and I wouldn’t want to put someone I love on wait, but I don’t have to actually deal with it now. I would propose only if I was ready and if I knew she was ready – also very distant. IF I ever do get married, I do have a loose set of ideas about what I want to happen with what details and where, etc.
Whether or not I’m ever ready, I want gay marriage to be an option for everyone. That is why I work for it, so that all consenting adults have the option. I don’t think that the institution of marriage is dying, just changing and that less people will enter into it. Change + less frequency =/= death